Originally published at Medium on April 23, 2019
During this holiday season, many of us who have left harmful religions make hard choices. It is a very charged time and we know that it is important to look at all options and possibilities to ensure that we are doing the very best thing for ourselves. We often have both beautiful and difficult memories from years past and deciding what to do may not be easy.
Do we celebrate with our families in a traditional manner as we used to or do we choose to celebrate with friends?
Do we take time off to be on our own and rejuvenate or do we celebrate with friends?
Do we travel and visit new places or do we stay close to home?
Having the ability to make these kinds of choices is amazingly freeing. In the past, many of us could not make any choices, but were forced to live up to others expectations.
While the freedom to choose is exhilarating and thrilling there is another side to this that is important to recognize. Whenever we make a choice, there will always be parts to our decision that will be unpleasant and uncomfortable.
Nothing in life is all good or all bad.
Sometimes the discomforts may be minor, such as going on vacation and ending up in a hotel room that is not as pretty as we expected, while other times, the downsides may be much more challenging. We may have decided to not be with family for the holiday, but then during the holiday experience intense longing for them and wish we could have spent the time with them. We may have chosen to spend the time on our own but then feel lonely and sad.
It is important that we acknowledge those painful feelings that come up and allow ourselves to gently process them, by either talking to a friend, sitting quietly with our feelings or journalling. However, once we have processed our feelings, we need to make a deliberate effort to shift our focus and remind ourselves as to why we made the choices that we did. We need to remind ourselves that we made a conscious decision and that there are incredible benefits from our choices.
Actively and continuously reminding ourselves of the benefits we have gained will allow us to enjoy our freedom and holiday fully and wholeheartedly reaping the benefits of our newfound ability to choose.
Happy Passover and Easter!
