The First Night
Originally published at Medium on March 26 2020 My wedding ended early. Though Hasidic weddings generally stretched into the wee hours of the morning, my parents made sure all the wedding celebrations ended by midnight. “It’s the first time I’m late,” the wedding entertainer hired to preside over the mitzvah-tantz, the ritual dance at the […]
My Hair
Originally published at Medium on April 6, 2020 For twenty of the twenty-two years that I was married, I shaved my head. I hadn’t intended to shave off my hair. Unlike my stricter Hasidic female married relatives who shaved their heads when they got married, my mother always kept her hair covered with a short […]
The Cost of Speaking up in the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish Community
Originally published at Medium on May 14 2020 “You have bipolar disorder and here is the medication you need to take.” It was a warm September morning in 2007 and I had been unexpectedly called in for an urgent appointment with Dr. Pence, a psychiatrist. I’d been a patient at the clinic for the past […]
Divorce in the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish Community — A Personal Experience
Originally published at Medium on June 11, 2020 April 21, 2014 It was thirteen days after I left my marital home in the middle of the night with my four youngest children and six days after I received temporary custody and a temporary Order of Protection from this very court. A chill hung over the […]
My Grandmothers
Originally published at Medium on March 11, 2019 For the last several days my social media feeds and email inbox has been full of inspiring memes and articles about inspirational women in tribute to International Women’s Day, which in case you don’t know, was on Friday, March 8th, 2019. In truth, my feeds are always […]
My Quiet Inner Voice
Originally published at Medium on March 19, 2019 As a child growing up in an Ultra-Orthodox Jewish home, my life was predictable. I knew which food I was allowed to eat and which clothing I was permitted to wear. From the time I was three, my skirts needed to cover my knees and my sleeves […]
Three Ways to Quiet your Inner Critical Voice for Good
Originally published at Medium on March 25, 2019 “You are so stupid and careless”. I heard the voice shouting at me as I reached for the wrong spice, taking the paprika from the spice shelf instead of the black pepper. I turned around in shock and recoiled in horror, looking around me to find my […]
Harmful Religions: Three Defining Characteristics
Over the last few weeks, I have been discussing the impact of harmful religions publicly, on my facebook page, my blog, and one on one with others. In this essay, I will clearly delineate what I mean by harmful religions. To be clear, I will not be discussing the validity of religions or the truth […]
God Doesn’t Hate You: An Open Letter To Orthodox Jewish Women
Originally published at Medium on April 8, 2019 “Blessed are you, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has not created me a woman” I must have seen this prayer in my Siddur, prayer book thousands of times. I saw it first when I started saying the required Jewish prayers in my girls-only kindergarten. […]
Taking Egypt out of the Slave: A Jewish Orthodox Woman’s Journey to Inner freedom
Originally published at Medium on April 15, 2019 It is five years to the day that I made the monumental decision to leave my marital home after twenty-two years of marriage. I didn’t think that I would be leaving for good; I thought it would just be for the upcoming holiday, Passover. But my mind […]