A Journey of Courage and Hope
I am determined to write a book and tell my story of courage and hope, yet I am filled with a spinning kaleidoscope of overwhelming emotions. The strongest emotion revealing itself is terrifying fear, but that is no surprise, fear has directed my life in so many different ways since the day I was born – nay since the day I was conceived and well before that.
This fear has been handed down from generation to generation and plopped into my lap the day I was born as an intrinsic part of me, as much a part of me as my blue-green eyes, big curly hair and left-handedness. This inheritance is very important to the family and I am expected to carry it further and further and pass it on to future generations. It needs to be handled gently, this package, never to be opened up
When I received this package as a tender young child, it was unnamed and unmarked. There were no identifying features on the packaging. But the unspoken message that I received when I got that package was hold on tight; never leave go and don’t you dare even ask what it is that is inside the package; never mind opening it. I held onto this package tightly for many years. I did my job diligently, I handed this package over to my children and made sure that they held on tightly as well, never daring to explore what it contained.
But then something happened, the package became heavier and heavier, it became almost unbearable to hold onto. The heaviness propelled me to loosen my grip on the package just a little bit. Not to hold on that tight and dare to take a peek inside and take a glimpse at the messy insides, a jumbled mess of mental illness, religious abuse, poverty, and generational shame. And then I started to question:
“Does my life really depend on holding onto this package?”
“What would happen if I let go of it?”
“What would happen if I only held onto it sometimes?”
“What would happen if I did not pass it on to my children?”
“Can I ever lose this package?”
“What if I was raised in a different family and I wouldn’t have received this package, what would my life look like?”
The book I promised myself that I will write will discuss the delicate and brave journey that I took to look at the fears and oppression that I was raised with and lived with for many years and my journey in overcoming it.
My hope is that I will inspire you to look at the preconceived beliefs and fears that you were raised with and begin to explore the possibility of seeing life through a different perspective and achieving your very own personal emotional, spiritual and financial freedom.